FAQ: Do feminists hate men?

I’m happy to answer questions about feminism, provided they’re true questions. Today I’m going to answer one of those, Do feminists hate men?

In the first place, I need to say that this question is biased. It’s not the right question to ask, so that is why feminists get angry about it. It’s a question that focuses on the individual person. Who knows what an individual person feels? And what does that matter when we are speaking of social movements that fight for justice and the end of violence?

The real question contains the answer: Has feminism suggested that men should be tortured, imprisoned, murdered for the violence they have exerted against women for centuries? And the answer is No. Does feminism say we have to do to men what men do to women in patriarchy? No. (Actually feminism is the most relevant nonviolent r-evolution I’ve ever known of.)

What feminism does is criticize/challenge the patriarchal notion of what a human being is.

feminismisPatriarchy established — most probably parting from patriarchal religions — that human beings need to be divided into two separate groups, groups created according to their genitals (penises and vaginas) as if genitals determined what a human mind can be. These two groups are Men and Women. Patriarchy cannot accept there might be other kinds of bodies, and it certainly cannot tolerate that we are all equal and different, that we all have HUMAN MINDS, where our thoughts and feelings are created. Patriarchal societies have established what a Man is and has to do, feel, think (his role in society), and what a woman is and has to do or feel (her role in society). Feminism has developed to fight this, and especially to protect the group that patriarchal societies consider inferior, because women in patriarchal societies are considered inferior intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, their only worth coming from a biological ability (if they have it), which is to have babies.

So what feminism fights is the NOTION OF MAN, not the people.

But because this is r-evolutionary, because this entails a great deep change for the better in human societies, we, a species taught to be self-destructive and destructive with others, need to despise it and destroy it. So we go along and say that Feminists are man-hater, irrationally, violently, because it is violent to lie, to spread misconceptions that destroy good things.

As a feminist, I know I’m sexist, and I’ve been fighting my sexism (machismo) for three decades now. I can say that I’m far less sexist than most human beings, but it’s been very hard work. Understanding a great idea doesn’t mean you can actually live up to it, and that’s why feminists are so self-critical and give a lot of importance to working not only to change unfair things in society but also ourselves. The personal is political is a feminist slogan which has radically changed our lives.

Thanks to this idea, The personal is political, today in Spain we have a Law against Gender Violence, this is, when I was a child, if a man beat up “his” wife, and you called the police, the police would say, “We can’t do anything, it’s a private matter.” But today the police can arrest the man, and the woman can seek protection.

Personally, I do hate some men, because they are so violent and irrational (read the first comment under this post, to see a fine example!). But my hate does not take the form of those men’s love: their love says they can humiliate, psychologically mistreat (despise), beat women up, rape them, murder them “when they deserve it.”

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9 Responses to FAQ: Do feminists hate men?

  1. You got much further into the post than most feminists before your position just falls apart.
    There is no patriarchy. There are traditions and an Oligarchy.
    Traditions have nothing to do with the human mind, and are founded on the human body. These traditions didn’t start in 1950AD, they started in 1950BC. Men and Women where given very different tasks in society based on their physical abilities and physical limitations. With out the contributions of men and women no one would have survived, let alone been able to feed children. This “Patriarchy” that you blame isn’t sexist traditions, but the tech change that allowed upper middle class urban white women to be freed from their obligations to survival.
    What feminism fights against is the ease of life that upper middle class urban white women have though the hard work and dedication of men.
    Also, have you actually looked at that law you mentioned? If it’s the one I’m familiar with, it’s not stopping gender violence. 53% of gender violence is women abusing men. That law says arrest the man. There are a great many men in prison in Spain for the crime of being the VICTIM of domestic violence. I really have a hard time not calling you a Man hatting bigot if you support that law.

  2. MF says:

    Interesting demented post. Thanks for posting!

  3. Jennie says:

    Genderneutral-you are full of shit. Of course we live in a patriarchy. The usa definitely is not a matriarchy! The entire world hates women-india africa pakistan afghanistan asia uk asa! Look at the horrible practice of female genital mutilation!! Read about that then tell me there is no patriarchy and horribly misogynistic “practices” against female babies girls and women that are still happening to this day. All done by men-“honour killings-rape-murders-sexual harrassment shall I go on? I am a RADICAL feminist and I certainly do hate men. Women are NOT inferior! Women give life and men gladly destroy it. I’ll fight the patriarchy til my dying day. Read some Andrea Dworkin or Valerie Solanas. Those women changed my life. They were brave-strong and unstoppable like me!

    • MF says:

      Jennie, thanks for posting! Genderneutral’s message is one of the craziest things I’ve heard of late, really. Patriarchy is everywhere, in Bibles, in how we understand a Man or a Woman should be like (!), in History (just full of men, as if women had not had any contribution to make to thought or art — when the problem was patriarchal structures banning them from anything which was not the bed, the kitchen, the home!).

      So G’s vision reflects an inability to see what’s around us. It’s an example of how dogmas strangle human intelligence and that’s why I did not delete the post.

      Nice day!

      • Jennie says:

        You’re very very welcome. I just read my local paper and started crying. Apparently, some website in Asia was selling sex dolls (no shocker there), but..the sex dolls resembled young girls. I’m talking like five. The paper said that they have been selling like hot cakes in the good old USA! My heart sank once again when I read about men and their perversions. This has gone too far. How sick-selling and buying a sweet doll holding a teddy bear as a sex doll!!?? That makes me incredibly sad..and extremely ANGRY. Men are just not what women hope them to be. We wish for civilized human beings with a good heart and soul. Not so. Who are these men? Sadly they are our idols, our brothers, close friends, fathers, teachers, councilmen etc. Remember-knowledge is power! Be safe out there. Men are dangerous!

    • Matthew Walker says:

      You could not have said anything more stupid. Male genital mutilation is FAR more common. It is just called circumcision.

      • michelle says:

        How can you be so ignorant?! 😀 Circumcised me have orgasms, a sexual life if they wish or manage it! 😀 I have to show your message in class! 😀

      • michelle says:

        The second part: how can you be such a women-hater and girls-hater, in the 21st century? Where do you live? FGM has NOTHING TO DO with circumcision. It’s about not allowing girls to experience pleasure ever. Why would people want to do that? Misogynists have an answer, of course!

  4. MF says:

    Yes, that’s a fact. We contemplate the world and that’s simply a fact. If we could simply imagine all the violence men exert on this planet in every second of our existence I think we would get enough strength to get involved in struggling for a better world, I think people would become feminists right away!

    But it’s true we’re moving on at the same time. Where I live, there are men who would never abuse babies, girls or women. There are those who would, too, and as you mention, they can look very “decent” and be perverts. The few times I was attacked was by a diplomat, a family old friend, and men like that… And when I was younger sometimes I had sex with men I didn’t really want to have sex with. I didn’t know I could also choose (because it’s so deep this understanding that we are inferior and it takes time to realize) and they didn’t care if I was not enjoying the experience. The moment I realized, I started choosing, and my life improved a great deal! Of course, I ended up finding feminist ideas and analyses.

    Nowadays some men are taking the good path feminism has opened for all of us: they’re wanting to disobey the patriarchal mandate of violence against women and the patriarchal mandate of considering women inferior intellectually, of having two big groups “Men” and “Women” who HAVE TO be this or that. I mean, they’re even wanting to develop not as “Men” but as “Human beings”, or at least not as patriarchal men. And this is important because they belong to the social group of the Oppressors in this crazy and violent social system.

    And then many women are also realizing. Antifeminism is still strong, but it is also true that there are more people who have understood feminist ideas than we think, and their personal lives reflect this. Many women are still defending the traditional system, which is no wonder because it is a very violent system against women in all sorts of ways and you need to be very brave but also very wise to fight back and BEYOND. So here humanity needs men to get involved too, and say no to their patriarchal “privileges” (treating women like inferiors in every way and like objects or containers). Women are learning to stop saying they’re hopeless in everything, they’re learning they have been excluded from education, from intellectual activity, art, everything except being locked up in buildings for the exploitation of their bodies. They’re not buying the patriarchal tale that women are not in History because very few ever contributed anything! Since the 20th century, as a social event, more women are understanding that they have human rights, and this includes choosing their lifestyle, their sexuality and sexual life, their occupations and activities… And the best thing is that these women are not forgetting about the women who are trapped in patriarchal violence. Because in patriarchal societies it’s a new thing that we have opened spaces to be able to fight for rights without getting burned/burnt at the stake or gang raped. So we know how hard life is for most women on the planet in terms of confronting men’s violence.

    Gotta go now! Nice talking with you!
    Have a nice day! (and don’t cry! We’re moving on! It’s not easy, but we’re trying hard!)

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