New House Party from Hell!!

If you want to come to my party, you should comply with my requirements! (Demented laughter!) 😀 😀 😀

Hiya dear all! Today we had a laugh about this crazy idea of having a New House Party for students. I actually HATE parties. I’m NOT a Party person. I’m terribly shy and hopeless at small talk. Please, believe me. I know it’s hard to believe when you see me in class, but it’s true. Social situations overwhelm me! For me more than 2 or 3 people is getting overexcited intelectually and burning tons of energy I cannot spare! The only place I’m OK in is in class but that’s because it’s my professional occupation and I have a mission, a responsibility. Plus, I’m in this stage of life where what I most enjoy is not hanging out with people but being on my own, doing things ON MY OWN, in solitude, solo, solita, if you see what I mean.

However, because I try to make people happy, I’ll try to combine now my Not-wanting-to-have-fun-with-people, with your wish in the totally opposite direction!

RULES of the Party game!

#1 You need to pass your exam in June, because I never go out with students, not in Xmus, not never ever, until they pass the fucking certificate exam, which I undoubtedly hate.

#2 You should be willing to be blindfolded and driven around the region before getting to my house. When I told Y5B’s about the requirement of a blood pact so that everybody would swear to never tell other students where I lived, they came up with a really exciting idea (wonder if that was because they were afraid of a little cut in a finger!): I could rent a van, we could arrange to meet downtown / in the town centre, and then I would blindfold you all and drive you around the region till we eventually got to my new house!! I like it! What a very interesting idea!!!

#3 I hate being the center of attention! So you would have to pledge not to make me the focus of the party at any time!

#4 You can ask me where things are and I can also get them for you, but please don’t expect me to be a host — to have to think and guess who needs what. I’m a hopeless host, because I cannot hold a conversation and at the same time be a host and I don’t like guessing what people need or want and I prefer they tell me. Life is nicer and simpler! So you would have to promise to feel free to get what you want without me having to offer it to you. If you’re hungry or thirsty, just go and get whatever. I think it’s polite to use a house as if it were your own. (What’s not polite is to use a house as if it were tissue paper!)

#5 I’m sorry to say this but men who pee standing would have to sit to pee because it’s terrible when other people come next and sit on their pee. It’s so loveless to stand to pee when you’re in a home! Women also pee standing, or squatting, when in public places, which is also problematic, like men standing to pee, because… what about children? We adults may dry the drops or lakes, but kids just climb and sit. And that’s terrible!

#6 I hate presents when they are given to me by people — because I hate it when I’m the center of attention. But because I understand you might want to contribute something to the party, it’s OK things we can all share:

  • bringing music, even if you take it with you once you leave!
  • bringing activities you would take part in without depending on me, like preparing a little show of some sort: you could show us your talents, like… you could read English with different accents, act out a movie or TV series scene, tell a story or a poem, sing a song, make different kinds of noises (burping the ABC, animal noises, special effects), make up and perform a dance routine (:D), a music performance, telling jokes that are not sexist or homophobic or racist, not telling what people call “feminist jokes” (because they are seldom feminist, and then I would have to explain why…) You can also use the books in my house and the matriarcal tarot, and the dictionaries! Perhaps we could have a laugh reading some of the DRAE’s pathetic definitions! (The Royal Academy of the Dead Word) Oh, that’d be orgasmic! But you can also bring mainstream newspapers — they can be great for a laugh! Or assorted instructions translated into Spanish from English! That can be hilarious!
  • bringing drinks (great!) and food (not truckloads, please! Personally, I seldom eat in public — mainly devour my victims in the middle of the night — but I understand people get hungry when they gather).
  • if you insist in pressies (but the former would be your best option with me), here is the only thing I can handle: a hand-made kind of present (or a plant! — no cut flowers, please!) which you would leave somewhere in the house so that I could find it once the party were over, when in solitude!

#7 Promise to forget about this party! I hope the fact that I’m mentioning the party about four months before it could happen will help you forget about this crazy idea!

I think that’s about it.

So — is it on?!

😀

EDITED: (Btw, Johnny, I was not upset anything related to the wasapp group. I was just sharing info and making comments, OK? You should not have decided that — that I was upset with you, without knowing, OK? It’s best to check first before deciding what happened. So people were just telling me about the wassap group the day you missed the lesson. And about here, well, one of the reasons why I write here and tell you all stories is just to help you remember words, well, and to have some fun, sure! 😉  )

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3 Responses to New House Party from Hell!!

  1. afteralliam says:

    Teacher! You make me laugh!!! Thanks a lot!!! ….mmm…I wonder why you (anarquist) have such a lots of ruls:-/ …. Anyway! I ACCEPT ALL OF THEM!;-)

  2. MF says:

    😀 😀 :D! Brilliant point!!! 😀 😀
    You do?!!! Shucks!!! 😀

    Mmm… now I'll have to find out who you are!

  3. Pingback: Goodbyes | Plans & What We Did In Class

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